The Ride of the Plot Stealing Hussy
by Rebecca Starflower
Summary: the real reason that Glorfindel didn't rescue Frodo in the film. the term 'Plot Stealing Hussy' is something i borrowed *ahem* stole *ahem* from hika. please enjoy!


The Ride of the Plot Stealing Hussy  
  
'Meet me at the sixth hour past noon,' the note had said, and now he stood in one of the orchards of Rivendell, waiting with the trees for her arrival. His name was Glorfindel, a fine elf lord from the Grey Havens and he waited for the Evenstar, Arwen Undomiel. He hummed quietly to himself, caressing the treebarks as he paced around the garden. Suddenly someone touched his back and he flinched, startled.  
  
'What's this? An elf lord, caught off his guard?' the soft voice sang, mocking him in a way he found irresistible. He spun and caught her in his strong arms, ducking his head towards her for a kiss. She obliged, but only briefly. 'Come,' she said, 'we cannot be caught here.' Clasping his hand she led him to the Last Homely House, sneaking in through a back entrance. She stuck her head around each corner before dashing along corridors, and Glorfindel did the same. Finally they reached the corridor which contained the servants quarters. They were especially quiet here: one sound out of turn would alert Elrond or one of his many servants to the fact that Glorfindel, one of Elrond's dear friends, was sneaking into a bedroom with Arwen. They passed through the doorway and Arwen locked the door behind them.  
  
'Now, my love, we may be alone,' she said seductively, crossing the room to the bed where he stood and kissing him passionately. 'None can know of this,' she said, tearing herself away from his desperate lips for a moment. 'Do I have your word?'  
  
'Yes, yes, of course,' Glorfindel said breathlessly, lunging towards her again. They kissed again passionately, gasping for breath. Arwen moved her hands to his neck and unfastened his mantle; it fell to the ground with a swish of velvet. He helped her to undress him, especially with his corslet and mailshirt: armour is tricky to remove, even with nimble elven fingers. Glorfindel unhooked Arwen's mantle, but other than that she would not allow him to touch any of the fastenings of her clothes. Soon he stood wearing nothing; the dying rays of sun reaching into the room bathed him in an almost ethereal light.  
  
She gently pushed him onto the bed and kissed him gently from head to toe. He lay there looking at her for a moment, drinking in her beauty. His heart fluttered as she bent and kissed him again. She brought out a bottle of elven wine and he sighed in contentment. Here was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, the woman he had lusted over from afar for a long time, doing things to him that he had only dreamed about. Arwen poured out two glasses of wine and handed one to Glorfindel. As soon as he had drained his, he felt slightly drowsy. What was in that wine? He vaguely noticed that Arwen didn't touch hers, leaving it on the bedside table instead. Suddenly he remembered something. An order from Elrond earlier in the day, before he had gotten the note. He racked his brains to remember it. A very important quest.something to do with halflings, and.wreaths? No, that can't be right. It was bring something. Bring wreaths? Yes, that must be it. Why the hell did Elrond want to send him on a quest to bring halfling wreaths?  
  
Arwen started playing with the scarves, drifting them over his body in a way that made him very excited, so he decided not to think about it anymore. Screw Elrond!  
  
She leaned over him, tying one of his wrists to the bedpost. He smiled, looking forward to what was to come. She left a trail of kisses along his arms and chest as she tied his other wrist to another bedpost. Then she sprang lightly off the bed and tied his feet to the other posts.  
  
She looked at him and laughed quietly: he had passed out from the herb she had put into the wine and was lying naked and bound to the bed of her handmaiden. She noticed with another giggle that he still had a very large hard-on, and left silently, imagining the look on her handmaiden's face when she found the naked Glorfindel on her bed. She smiled and rubbed her hands together in glee, as she ran with dancing feet to the stables.  
  
Ok, that was a lot of fun to write. I decided to write the real reason why Glorfindel couldn't make it to rescue Frodo in the film. This was the slightly insane result! Please review because I want to know if you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Squee! 


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